For Franc...

So, this whole blogging thing feels a little awkward. My fiance bought me a domain name as a Christmas/Hannukah gift because he "thinks my point of view is worth hearing". I guess I am trying to figure out if I agree with him. I mean, I love doing stand-up and being a total clown at parties but this feels very different and a much more intense. I am recording my internal (often fucked up) dialogue on public domain. Self conscious does not begin to describe the feeling I'm having. So, with that disclaimer, I will begin by addressing the origin of the name "Merry Jewess"...

About four years ago, I was working in development at a small production company. I had just moved back to L.A. after spending 6 years in New York and I was trying to figure out what was next for me (aka completely procrastinating on getting any serious writing done). An aquaintance offered me a job. The pay was bad but the work environment was pleasant and there were decent benefits. There were a few other cool women who worked there and we all became somewhat close in that "If one of us left this job, we would probably never speak again" way. The company soon hired an intern whose name is now escaping me. But the important detail is that he was German. I guess we'll call him Franc. Franc was incredibly grateful to obtain this internship because he was a theater major at a local college. No one was quite sure what exactly he would learn when his only real duty was occasionally picking up an overpriced chopped salad or Frappucino but he was an eager, upbeat guy nonetheless. We liked him. Done deal. We did notice, however, that he spent a good deal of time typing away on the computer in his cublicle. And it was constant. Not the normal intermittent web-surfing kind of typing but more of the manifesto-writing variety. One day, curiousity got the best of us and one of the other girls asked him what he was writing. He answered simply, "My blog." For some reason, this peaked the interest of my office mate. After Franc left for the day, she googled his name and "blog". She immediately found it although it was written entirely in German. And this is when we all realized that God must have been in a great mood the day he created Google because it has a "translate" option. The words suddenly appeared in English. Well, Franc was nothing if not positive! He began my telling all his friends in Germany how great his internship was. Particularly because of the fact that he had access to certain actors' home addresses and phone numbers. He was even kind enough to share this information with his pals! He then went on to give a very detailed description of our offices as well as the people he worked with. He was flattering and kind in his portrayals of us, I must say. Each one of us got our own little casting breakdown. Liza was a "tall, Sassy Southern girl". Katrina was "bold, intense and all about work". And me? I was a "merry little Jewess". After this last description was read, there was a collective sucking in of breath. Liza and Katrina (both not Jewish) looked at me, deeply concerned. A young German man called me a Jewess? What the fuck?! Well, needless to say, that was Franc's last day. However, the seemingly anti-semitic remark was not the main reason he was let go. In fact, the seriousness of that offense would have been entirely left up to my discression. The reason Franc was given for his firing was publishing a well known starlet's home address and telephone number on a German website. Our doomed intern left quietly during lunch hour therefore I never really got to say goodbye. So, Franc, if you are by chance reading this, I want to say that I really appreciate you using the adjective "merry" to describe me. I always considered myself more of the acerbic, depressed type. Also, thanks for the awesome blog name.

Auf Wiedersehen,
MJ